In the mere two days since I posted that journal, things have turned around for the better.

I came to the realization that night that nobody could make my circumstances better for me. Nobody was going to jump into my body and say 'Alright depression and self-destructive tendencies! Time to get out!' I had to do it myself.
So I did.

On monday I had to go to my great-aunt's funeral, which was really sucky because, hey, I already had to go to my own dad's funeral in March and going to another one was not on my to-do list. But hey, it meant I got to see my second-cousin who I hadn't gotten to see in five or six years, so I didn't really put up any fight.
Well, I basically glued myself to her side for the remainder of the day because she's really, really optimistic and happy all the time and just generally fun and pleasant to be around. Later that day we went to my grandma's house and sang old hymns (Which we really don't do that often, weirdly enough, 'cause it's quite fun) and she played the piano and sang and I got to sit beside her and it was all cool and we talked about boys and what we'll do when we're married and other mushy stuff, haha.

So it turned out to be a pretty good day. But at the end of the day I thought 'you know, she's really fun to be around. I want to be fun to be around. I mean, I don't even like to be around me right now. I've really got to change.'

So yeah. I've been pretty good since I decided that. I've been getting to sleep on time (Tonight is an exception though, it seems!), trying to drink more water, being more cheerful... I decided I would try and make an effort to talk to people, with surprisingly good results. I've been making an extra effort not to pick at my skin (My really bad habit)... Life's been good.

I am, however, still taking a break from drawing. As I'm sure you know since I never stop talking about it, I've been practicing photography and having a really fun time doing it. So, I don't know how long it'll be until I get back into drawing, but eventually I will, just bear with me.

Anyway, sorry for the big, long textwall. Just thought I'd let people know I'm doing better. Thank you guys for your kind words and advice and encouragement and hugs. My internet connections been craaaaaaaaazy slow and wiggy lately, so I probably won't be on much, but... yeah. That's it.

Love you guys!

_{Also we got Up the other day liek whoaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa <3 <3 <3 <3}